LET GO..

Life is  a chain that connects everything you ever known to things that you never knew. It's one way an exploration , The whole process of living. Still there exist certain things for which you never have an answer , Its just oblivion.
Have you ever wondered why certain things happen to you ? Are you the only person dealing with such things?. You never knew. 
Life isn't easy when you have no idea why certain things happen to you all of sudden very unexpectedly.
Am writing this blog because very recently one of my very close friend left me , leaving me in wonder "What really went wrong " 
I have known this person for past 8 months. That's a very limited time to get to know someone, But still i believed i know that person  more than anyone in this world. That's the exact point when you start to fool yourself in the shade of someone you never knew. Nothing in the world is constant. As we have always known change is the only thing that never change. 
You meet someone , you start talking to them , you start liking them  and then you reach a point where you feel an inner connection with the other soul. That's something that is going to keep you both bind with each other. But change , the real rival turns up. It smirks at constant and then it just take a fraction of second to make things turn upside down. Before you could even realize things are gone out of hands everything would have changed , leaving you to ponder "HOW" "WHY" "WHEN".
Somethings in life never have an answer, you just accept it as it comes. Thinking and trying to find out what really went wrong would consume lot of time and will leave you with no traces of what you really wanted to know, you diverge yourself in the process , lose yourself and then its all over. Sleepless nights , endless thoughts .. for whom? That's when you should wake up , you need to focus on yourself, that's the time when you can really find yourself. You need to take a moment-take a step back press pause reflect. Re-invest in your happiness and fulfillment. Realize that you are that one person who can fill the gaps in your life. You are the void in your life , you need to fill it. Above all remember you don't need someone who makes you happy, It's about being that someone who makes you happy. Somethings are meant to be uncertain.  Let is doom like a broken star.You are not the trail of smoke of a dead star , you are the spark that will light up the new star.

THE PAIN OF BLEEDING ...!!

This post is to express all the frustration a female goes through during her menstruation. To the world its just normal , every female bleeds every month as simple as that. But that's not it. Unless one doesn't experience they will never know what it actually is :/.
So here it goes , your uncertain about exactly when this thing is going to gush out... Yeah yeah of course there is a predictable time of 28-30 days , but your body doesn't always cooperate. Sometimes its so eager that it comes before the date and other time its so uninterested that it doesn't even come after 10 days post your dates to scare the shit out of you.  So the first thing about this whole concept is its very unpredictable it can happen anywhere anytime ( Wow ).
Now the cramps , this is beyond what i can actually confine within words. You will have no idea what exactly is happening in your body. What exactly is cramps ?? Pain ?? Feeling ?? Noooo , " Its some Weird Cranky thing that is just trying to kill you ". From your head to toe every part of your body is attacked by this very thing. I recently remember how i imagined exactly what this thing is and i came to a conclusion so here it is , My leg was attacked by this cranky and what it felt like is that two cutting players have been inserted inside your leg from both ways and its being pulled by external force , twisting your bone so it would break into pieces , but as the bone is very loyal to the body it just want to stick there and not move but the force just keeps pulling. This is what exactly i could come up with. Well its different with each female , everyone have there own point of explanation. The cramps is so virtual that no one ever knows where exactly it is attacking.The second point is its implicit.
Next up the very own MOOD swings. So how does this works, the mood generating hormones exactly know when this is going to gush out and from that moment it doesn't stay constant , it just starts swinging la la la.. and the speed of the swing equals the speed of light. This phase exactly let you know there are many more emotions in human life , because even you don't know exactly what you want ? Its like you want to isolate yourself and shut yourself inside a dark room and the very next second you want to go out and face the world. Its sometimes so frustrating that we want to shout at every person that we see , you start hating everything around you and feel pathetic about yourself.
Third point it make you feel like running out of this universe.
Well now one whole week goes this way and you are all free now , NO stains NO pains . All happy.  You are so proud to bleed , You are extremely happy to be a female who survived one week of bleeding and again life is all back to normal.
This is it , the most beautiful thing about female which makes them bear everything and put a smile on their face no matter what. Because female anatomy is one of the beautiful creation of God <3.

As December Falls...

December the last month of the year , its a festive season the christmas time , people celebrate each day of the month and december 31 the new years eve. People dancing , singing and celebrating welcoming the new year.
But is that all december has ? No. It has another side to be explored. Its winter time , the snow , fog , cold covers us , so do our mind. For me december has always being the saddest month because december makes me realise that its over , a year is passed and these moments are not coming back again to you. Each moment you spend that year is going to be a memory , its gone. Even the time am typing this , you are reading this. This is not coming back again. You cannot relive things. So december for me is letting go. Its a remainder that your are into a new phase of life , your going to be a year more older. But again life is all about moving on and thats what december teach us. Let go past , say cheers to new beginning. So like every december , even this december will pass with lot of memories from through out the year. Lets end it with hopes for new year. But any heart that has always seen winter will always remain cold. No matter what.

LOST RELATIONSHIPS AND FAITH

When you crawl into your bed inside a dark bedroom with no lights , the only sound you hear is of your fan running and the occasional heavy breath of yours that occurs time to time as a remainder that you are still alive , so this is when you know that you are inside the abandoned blanket.  This doesn't feel good ,  it is suffocating. The people who you thought would be always with you , has left you forever. The thought that the  people who are with you now , will also leave you covers your head. You are not anyone's priority. Each phase of your life you meet different people , few promises to stay forever , but I say forever is the most fake word , no one can ever do justice to it. Because situations change , people change , their priority changes, and you become the victim of this " pseudo " forever word. Your existence become fictitious to those people , as they move towards their next gull.  The damage it does to us is the overwhelming distress. When this  alienation is questioned  the only thing you get to hear is an unrealistic apology which sounds so lifeless. So then you realise you have lost it , you are out of that entanglement. You are no more important to someone who you thought will treat you same forever. You lose faith in relationships. You feel lost. You become philophobic. But there is something you got to realise , you have also done same thing with someone else , you have ignored someone who cared so much for you. Thats the human tendency and irony , we go behind people who don't like us and we ignore people who like us and we end up blaming the whole concept of relationship. This whole concept of relationship is complex , it gives you an oxymoron  like its good but its not good. So at this state you find solitude to be the best companion because you start to realise there is a pleasure in the pathless woods,there is a rapture on the lonely shore,there is society, where none intrudes, even when all this is true again you end up where you feel "Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine." This when the nail again hits you and says you have lost the relationships you want. This fades your faith. Life is reinventing one self everytime. Its a cycle. Your top priority is yourself. Love yourself.

NO ONE CARES ONCE WE LEAVE ..

We come across many different faces through out our life , But have you ever thought how many really care  about you ? How many people think about you every day ? What is your significance in their life ? Will your absence make any difference to them ? . Very recently I came across a movie dialogue where the protagonist says  "NOBODY NOTICES WHEN WE LEAVE.I MEAN WHEN WE REALLY CHOOSE TO GO."  Even when we are alive  we sometimes get unnoticed or ignored, then once we take our final departure from life we gradually becomes the voids that get unheeded. Then I got a question in my mind " FOR WHOM ARE WE REALLY LIVING FOR ? ". Now that is the question to be answered and I feel we should live for oneself. The thought may look little selfish but yeah that is what life is all about. Everyone is selfish when it comes to themselves. Don't always believe when people say they will be there for you always , That would be the most fake sentence someone could ever come up with. Always trust actions and not words and Ultimate truth is time changes and  people move on looking for what's better for them. The world literally value and respect people who are rich and beautiful .. Yeah you may find one or two exceptions. So just think about yourself be happy till the time you live and always focus on making some remarkable things in a very positive way so that even when you leave people could take your name. And do realise you can be important to someone.. but not always. The Universe is a Time wheel and we are all just travellers once our time ends we depart to another world where we will rediscover ourselves once again. Till that time learn to find happiness in solitude and learn to do what ever makes you happy.   

NIGHT SKY IS STILL !! THEN WHAT CHANGED ??

Night sky has always remained a wonder for a young girl who hailed from a small town in Kerala. The shining  night stars has always amazed her .. She never became tired looking for the grandmother cooking on the moon as she has always heard in the stories told to her .. Back then power cuts made her smile as it helped her escape her study hours to come to the verandah of her house where she could gaze at the beautiful night sky. The aeroplane that passed very rarely above her house made her thrill.. she would run with bare feet to the ground to look at that tiny aeroplane and wave as she believed someone is watching her from it .. she continues to wave till the plane fades out of her sight. Years passed she has grown up .. she stood on the terrace of her apartment in the metro city still looking at the night sky above all those sky scrapers and the tall mobile towers ...the stars still shining and moon smiling ... now she knew that there was no grandmother cooking out there in moon .. she has started facing the real world ... The plane that passed was never again a rare phenomenon .. but the excitement in her eyes never faded ..she still gazed at the planes till they moved far away out of her sight but now she has stopped waving at them... Soon she was lost in her thoughts about what all has changed around her .. the power cuts never made her happy again .. she realised her life is a cob web now .. constrained .  But looking at the night sky gave her the same pleasure that she always used to have as a young girl.. It was not the excitement about the escape from her study hours but from the same routine of her boring city life .. She stood there gazing at the moon and stars .. missing her childhood days .. where she was a free bird .. who had no responsibilities and expectations about Life !!