LOST RELATIONSHIPS AND FAITH

When you crawl into your bed inside a dark bedroom with no lights , the only sound you hear is of your fan running and the occasional heavy breath of yours that occurs time to time as a remainder that you are still alive , so this is when you know that you are inside the abandoned blanket.  This doesn't feel good ,  it is suffocating. The people who you thought would be always with you , has left you forever. The thought that the  people who are with you now , will also leave you covers your head. You are not anyone's priority. Each phase of your life you meet different people , few promises to stay forever , but I say forever is the most fake word , no one can ever do justice to it. Because situations change , people change , their priority changes, and you become the victim of this " pseudo " forever word. Your existence become fictitious to those people , as they move towards their next gull.  The damage it does to us is the overwhelming distress. When this  alienation is questioned  the only thing you get to hear is an unrealistic apology which sounds so lifeless. So then you realise you have lost it , you are out of that entanglement. You are no more important to someone who you thought will treat you same forever. You lose faith in relationships. You feel lost. You become philophobic. But there is something you got to realise , you have also done same thing with someone else , you have ignored someone who cared so much for you. Thats the human tendency and irony , we go behind people who don't like us and we ignore people who like us and we end up blaming the whole concept of relationship. This whole concept of relationship is complex , it gives you an oxymoron  like its good but its not good. So at this state you find solitude to be the best companion because you start to realise there is a pleasure in the pathless woods,there is a rapture on the lonely shore,there is society, where none intrudes, even when all this is true again you end up where you feel "Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine." This when the nail again hits you and says you have lost the relationships you want. This fades your faith. Life is reinventing one self everytime. Its a cycle. Your top priority is yourself. Love yourself.